Ch-ch-chia

My name's Meghan.
I have literally given you everything needed to stalk me, so I have no idea why you haven't started.

laughinghieroglyphic:

A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!

The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

Semper Fi.
p.s. close the borders

(Source: thecatacombkid, via frezned)

  1. orangutanlimbs reblogged this from thecatacombkid
  2. thecatacombkid reblogged this from chicagoteddy
  3. madamescherzo said: This is one of the more bizarre rants I’ve read. Somewhere there is a kernel of truth, but it got popped, buttered and swallowed in one bite and now there’s nothing but unpopped kernels of thought at the bottom of the brain bowl.
  4. brocialism reblogged this from thecatacombkid
  5. yourmistake reblogged this from myonlydesire- and added:
    im fucking crying oh ymg od
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  18. selectivecynicism reblogged this from athingcalledjoe and added:
    I cried. so beautiful
  19. athingcalledjoe reblogged this from dachattack and added:
    Funniest thing I’ve read in a long, long time.
  20. dachattack reblogged this from illhave-thatdrinknow
  21. illhave-thatdrinknow reblogged this from thereisnodarkness
  22. clovenhoofedprinceturnip reblogged this from stfusexists
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  24. for-one-crowded-hour reblogged this from antesdachuva and added:
    Best. Thing. Ever.
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  30. complete-control reblogged this from thecatacombkid and added:
    This story moved me. Well, nothing left...Santorum, I guess.
  31. v2blast reblogged this from thecatacombkid
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